Tales from the Courthouse

I started my 2L summer job at the Public Defender. So much better than Cable TV.
It's been a while since I posted, but I spent my spring semester interning in Washington, DC Superior Court for a judge with a felony docket. That was wonderfully entertaining, but in an "oh god who would have believed the system could fail so many people so completely?" kind of way, in addition to the, "wow, you really are just too violent and stupid to continue living" sort of way.

These are more chuckle worthy sorts of moments:

1: Batman Returns
General District Court
Judge calls a young man forward. He has chosen to arrive in his Sunday go-to-meetin' blue jean shorts along with his fancy boxers which he has generously pulled his jean shorts down far enough for all of us to see--I love green madras plaid, don't you? He also has on an I Heart Haters T-shirt and a necklace that goes to his mid chest with a giant batman symbol about the size of my hand---all in the most handsome of diamonique.

Young Man: "Judge, I want a extension to pay my court fees."
Judge: "Why do you need an extension young man?"
Young Man: "I ain't got the money Yuh Honuh."
Judge: "How much did that thing around your neck cost you?"
Young Man: "Enough so I can't pay my court costs. I'd rather do community service anyway."
Judge: "Have it your way. 120 hours" Gavel bang.

2: Winona Lives
I'm sitting in a room full of people where it's pretty obvious who the lawyers and clients are by virtue of their wardrobes. I catch site of this gorgeous blond lady. her hair is in a sleek pony tail, wrapped with hair at the band. She wears a beautifully tailored suit with a crisp white shirt and silver cufflinks just visible at the edge of the beautifully hemmed sleeves. She has this great belt with a silver buckle that makes me think maybe she has a personal relationship with Calvin Klein and this is what real women would look like in his clothes. I wonder what office she must work for. Then the judge calls her to the defense table.

Judge: How do you plead?
Blonde: Guilty your honor.
Judge: Then I will sentence you to XXX amount of time all suspended and you are forthwith banned from Nordstrom for a year.

Figures the gorgeous, perfectly dressed vision was on trial for grand larceny at Nordstrom. Thanks Winona.